Coming to Terms
by prjones339
Summary: Prequel/Companion piece to "Ahsoka's Twin." With more emphasis on Barriss and Riyo's story after interest was expressed in said story. May or may not be in chronological order or be updated as frequently as my other stories. T for suggestive themes.
1. Chapter 1

Barriss was being dragged along by Ahsoka to introduce her to some friends around the Senate she and her master had; Barriss had never even heard of some of them, but given how utterly massive the Republic was and how little she paid attention to politics that didn't directly affect her or the ongoing war that was hardly a surprise. The pace was difficult to keep up with though, and she wasn't unhealthy by any means. Ahsoka was always the bouncier and more energetic of the two though, and somehow always managed to drag her into trouble too. Did her friends have to have offices this far apart? She could have lied and said she had research to do, not that that would have stopped her younger Togruta friend: when Ahsoka wanted something, she did it or got it, no matter what, and damned be the consequences. She was _definitely_ Skywalker's pupil. Oh well, networking was basically a requirement for Jedi anyway, and Barriss was always so slow to come out of her shell that she appreciated the icebreaker, even if she wouldn't admit it. Most of the Senators Ahsoka introduced her to were surprisingly nice: Onaconda Farr, Mon Mothma, Bail Organa, and Padmé Amidala in particular were quite humble given their offices, and their… offices, most of which were quite elaborately decorated. Senator Mothma's even had a large sitting room specifically for guests! Padmé especially seemed so warm and welcoming. After they were out of earshot though, Ahsoka joked, "Want to hear a rumor?"

"Not particularly, but I doubt that'll stop you."

"I heard that Anakin and Padmé used to be a thing."

"Pffft, as if! Your master may break all sorts of rules but there's _no_ _way_ he'd outright shatter the Code like that!"

"I don't know…" Ahsoka replied with a sly side-eye, "You haven't seen how they look at each other."

Barriss rolled her eyes, "Alright, alright. So, who else are we going to annoy today?"

"You know Senator Chuchi?"

"As per usual, nope, never even heard of him."

"Welp, here's her office!" Ahsoka declared before loudly and semi-obnoxiously knocking on the door.

"Ahsoka!" Barriss attempted to chastise, "You don't know what she could be doing in there, she could be right in the middle of a very important meeting!"

Senator Chuchi was not in the middle of a very important meeting, unless one could consider a meeting between her desk and her snoring face "important." She hadn't slept in almost an entire day and finally had a few hours to rest. Her sleep schedule was going to be kriffed from this but at this point she didn't care, dreaming of wandering a pet store and buying a fish. Why was the clerk in a taco costume? When did fish smoke cigars? Why was she questioning it? This is totally normal attire for totally normal people to normally wear, and a totally normal activity for fish. Jerked awake from the knocking on her door, she fell back into the floor from her chair. Quickly getting up and seeing that nobody saw that, except for her intern Cha who was clearly struggling to hold back a grin, but he hardly counted, she walked over to the door and straightened herself out in the mirror a few moments before opening it. "Ahsoka!" the Senator exclaimed before embracing her friend.

"Riyo!" Ahsoka replied, returning the hug.

"How are you?"

"I'm doing great! Got a break from the battlefield for a few weeks. It's always nice when there's a truce declared to celebrate shared holidays."

"Always helps to put everyone at ease."

"Have I ever introduced you to my friend Barriss Offee?"

"No, I don't believe so," Riyo turned to look at the Mirialan Padawan learner.

Barriss was completely dumbstruck, having to blink a few times before bowing, "Padawan Learner, Barriss Offee, at your service," she introduced herself robotically, as she had always been taught, and as she had introduced herself to all the other Senators. Instinct and muscle memory guiding her actions.

"Senator Riyo Chuchi, at yours. Any friend of Ahsoka is a friend of mine."

Barriss nodded, but her mind was running a million parsecs a minute, she was suddenly a _lot_ more interested in politicians. She was so young! Or at least _looked _young. Her lavender hair, shimmering amber eyes, petite shoulders draped in her burgundy blouse. That accent dripped from her voice like honey! _"No! Stupid Barriss! Stupid Barriss! Stop it!"_ she thought to herself, "_You are a Jedi! You should _not_ be having thoughts like this! Especially about someone as esteemed as a Senator! Bad Barriss! BAD!"_

They stuck around Senator Chuchi's office for a few hours, the trio having a warm mint tea popular on Pantora, with Ahsoka chattering enough for the both of them, sharing about how they had almost died at their first meeting on Geonosis and the Senator showed them a clip from a recent PR stunt her team made her do, some stupid dancing competition where it was arranged she would be eliminated the first round of auditions. While Barriss was tight-lipped, more-so than usual, Ahsoka laughed hysterically at Riyo's dancing, commenting on how she moved like a stripper and completely ignored her incompetent partner until the Padawan's commlink went off, "Ugh, Anakin's probably injured himself tweaking the _Twilight_ again and needs me to fly him to the hospital. I'll see you later!"

"See you later Ahsoka! Have a nice night! You too Barriss!" Senator Chuchi waved them off.

"You as well Senator," Barriss quietly replied with another bow.

As the door swished closed behind the pair of Jedi, Riyo looked over at Cha, who was no longer bothering to contain his laughter. "What?" she demanded.

"You were totally checking out that Mirialan chick."

"I was not!"

"Don't lie, despite being a politician, you're bad at it. Just like you're bad at hiding when you think a girl's hot."

"Shut up or it's no letter of recommendation for you!"

"Just saying, pretty sure even Ahsoka noticed you staring at her friend."

"Ahsoka is completely oblivious to everything around her if it isn't a battlefield."

"Yeah, and even _she_ could follow your eyes to her friend's thighs."

"I believe I threatened you."

"Whatever, just saying you _might _want to tone it down. If that had gone on another ten minutes pretty sure you'd start drooling."

"Shut up! And I wasn't checking out her thighs!" Chuchi paused for a moment, before quietly muttering "I was checking out her calves… she does a lot of running."

As Ahsoka had predicted, Anakin had smashed his hand, thankfully his cybernetic one this time, so they only had to run down to the robotics market to buy replacement parts. Barriss opted to not join them and instead headed towards her dormitory, taking the longer route to try and clear her head. She hated that she had the feelings she had. Jedi weren't supposed to have feelings at all and Mirialans especially weren't supposed to have _those_ feelings. Shutting the door behind her before her master could see her, she flopped face-down onto her mat, silent tears coming from her eyes.

"Mirialans aren't gay. Mirialans _aren't _gay!" she quietly muttered. Though she didn't dare utter the words, she couldn't stop them from crossing her mind, _"So why am I?"_ She felt dirty for thinking that, but no matter how much she denied it, for both her culture and the Order, she was attracted to women. She had tried everything, meditation, avoiding beautiful women, self-imposing electroshock therapy (that one was _particularly_ counter-productive), even trying to force herself to fall in love with a few different men and working her way to non-feeling from there, from a normal point, nothing worked. For days, she tried to avoid thinking about the Pantoran Senator, ignoring her on the holonet news reports, rejecting Ahsoka's invitation to have lunch with them, pouring everything into her meditation, her studies, and her lightsaber, unintentionally impressing Master Unduli into commenting how she would be knighted soon enough if she kept it up. None of it helped for long. All that worked when her thoughts were in a mad scramble was writing in her poem/song journal. Taking the small black book out of the loose panel in her ceiling she used to hide it from her master, who would doubtless read it and proceed to lecture her, scream at her, drag her in front of the Council and, move for her expulsion. She couldn't do that. She couldn't allow that to happen. All she had ever known was the Jedi Order and the thought of being tossed onto the street like the trash she was? Terrifying. Double-checking to make sure she was alone in the dorm, she closed her door and locked it before taking out her pen to write. Her thoughts were a scrambled mess. She didn't know if she would rant, rhyme or reason her way through and in tears her pen scribbled across the pages. She was only half conscious of what she was even doing, trying to avoid a complete breakdown.

_Living Force, surround me_

_I do my best to be a rightful knight,_

_Of this matter I am justly proud,_

_Living Force, embrace me,_

_I do all I can to help the begging crowd,_

_Then tell me, Past Jedi,_

_Why I see her standing there,_

_Why her amber eyes must scorch my soul?_

_I see her,_

_I feel her,_

_The light caught in her purple hair,_

_Is blazing in me out of all control!_

_Like fire,_

_Hellfire,_

_This fire of my sin,_

_This burning, _

_Desire,_

_Is killing me within._

_It's all my fault._

_I'm born a freak._

_This Senator her beauty makes me weak._

_It's all my fault!_

_Why in the Plan,_

_Must temptation be so much stronger than I am?_

_Be with me past Jedi,_

_Help me pass this hurdling stone,_

_Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone._

_Annihilate me,_

_And let me taste the fires of Hell!_

_Or else let me be hers and hers alone._

_Hellfire!_

_Desire._

_It drains my strength within._

_I dream of,_

_My pyre._

_Aid me or I will burn!_

Hearing the door swish open as Luminara entered their dorm, Barriss quickly stowed away her book, and unlocked her door, getting into a kneeling position to pretend she had been meditating. As Luminara checked on her padawan she couldn't help but smile, "Dutiful as always, aren't we Barriss?"

"Yes Master."

"Although, I couldn't help but sense something troubling you," her Master commented, "Is there anything we need to discuss?"

"No Master," Barriss replied. There was no possible way she could ever mention something like this, especially not to her of all people. Raising her mental shields, she would just lie like she did every time her sexuality was in question, "I'm just having a particularly rough period this month."

"Ow," Luminara sympathized, not even bothering to try to get a read on whether Barriss was being honest or not, what reason could she possibly have to lie? "Think you might need to talk to a doctor?"

"No, at least, not yet. If it's bad next month or the next then maybe."

"Alright, let me know if you need anything."

"Yes Master, thank you. Would you mind shutting the door back?"

Luminara smiled, "Of course."

As the door swished shut, Barriss listened for her Master's footfalls to fade. Standing up from her kneeling position Barriss looked out her window. Her room had a nice view of the Senate building, it used to be one of the few pleasures she had in her life as a Jedi, now it was just another torture. Laying down on her mat, she decided to take a nap. She already told her master she was having a difficult cycle, so she would probably understand if she walked in to find her padawan passed out. Making the windows opaque, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She opened those eyes to the sight of a black, knee-high boot planted firmly in front of her face. Following it up to cobalt-blue thigh, attached to a pretty Pantoran Senator in pink leather holding a riding crop. The Senator giggled at the padawan, "Having dirty thoughts about me?" she asked before smacking the crop into her hand, "You're such a _bad_ _girl_, Barriss!" Puckering her purple lips, she cooed, "I'm going to have to punish you for that…"

Startling awake with a panicked yell, Barriss was nearly strangled in her blanket as she threw herself off of her bed. "Okay! No more sleep! That's fine! I can live off of caffeine for the rest of my life! Not going to sleep again! Nope!" She was trying to _avoid_ lusting after the Pantoran Senator, and women in general, but _especially_ the Senator, and dreaming about her as a sexy, lavender-haired, dominatrix was most certainly _not_ helping that endeavor. She had to talk to somebody, but who? There was no way in the seven Corellian Hells she could _ever_ mention this to her Master, she'd be homeless in a second, and Ahsoka would just tease her relentlessly and not be of any help, if Barriss was lucky, but even she might be creeped out by the friend she _regularly_ stayed around being gay and turn her in. She could try going to a more… unorthodox Jedi though. She remembered what Ahsoka had told her, about there being a rumor Anakin had once been dating the Naboo Senator. Nodding she quickly changed out of her sweat-soaked clothes and left the dorm she shared with her master. She was going to talk with Anakin Skywalker.

Luminara laughed at Obi-Wan's story, "I'm sorry, _Skywalker_ did _what_ exactly?"

"To be quite honest, I'm still not entirely sure, and I was there! How he thought saying _that_ would be at all helpful in the situation I can't imagine."

Barriss speed-walked past them, "Excuse me, masters! Bit of a rush, took a nap and overslept!" and like a flash she was gone.

Both Jedi Masters smiled, Luminara in pride and Obi-Wan in amusement. Kenobi looked over at his companion, "Have you ever taken the 'masters bet' with her by any chance?"

Unduli rolled her eyes, "Are you really bringing that childish game into this?"

He shrugged, "I'm just saying every master does it at some point. Qui-Gon was utterly convinced I was gay for _years_. He ended up cleaning the communal showers for a month when Dooku won it."

"How did Dooku win that bet anyway?"

"Uhm…" Kenobi remembered back to his padawan days, sitting in his tent on Concordia snogging Satine with the young duchess sitting in his lap when Qui-Gon walked in on them, "I asked him for advice on a girl, and how to reject the feelings I was developing for her."

"Mmhmm," Luminara hummed, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"What about your master?"

"He knew I was bi from the start, with no need to make such ridiculous bets… the Padawan he took _after_ me though…" she inhaled sharply, "he seemed to _really_ like animals…"

"Eww."

"Yeah."

"So what do you think about Barriss?"

"I doubt she even _has_ a sex drive. The only time she isn't studying, meditating, or practicing her lightsaber forms, is when she's either on the battlefield or Tano drags her off somewhere. She paused, "Why? What were you thinking?"

"Oh she's absolutely gay."

Unduli rolled her eyes again, "Only in her classmates' fantasies."

"I don't know, speaking of classmates, you know Fynn?"

"The Twi'lek girl just a year Barriss's junior?"

"I may have seen them casting a few side eyes at one another."

"Oh please."

Obi-Wan threw up his hands, "Just a hunch."

"Alright Mr. Hunch, what do you say the winner of this stupid bet gets?"

Kenobi hummed for a moment, stroking his beard, "I'd take a free dinner."

"Alright then, you're on," Luminara replied smugly, knowing full well she'd never have to actually pay that bet, clarifying, "If she says nothing in five years' time, I'll count that as a win."

"And if she does come out of the closet, I'm holding you to it."

"Fine by me," Replied Master Unduli.


	2. Chapter 2: Coming Out

She stood shaking in front of Skywalker's door. Was she really about to do this? Was she really going to ask _Anakin Skywalker_ for advice on how to be a better Jedi? She took a deep breath to prep for acting on this extremely bad idea. Balling up her hand, she lifted it up to the door and lightly rapped on the metal with her knuckles four time. She bit on her thumb's knuckle for a moment; he didn't respond. Had he not heard her? Shaking from head to foot now, she knocked again, harder.

"Coming!" Anakin called, followed by a loud crashing sound and a string of Huttese curses. Opening the door after a minute or two, absolutely covered in motor oil and a rather large welt forming on his head, he was surprised to see Barriss standing at the door. "Oh, hey Barriss. You looking for Ahsoka?"

"Actually," Barriss was about to correct before Anakin continued.

"She's in the cafeteria at the moment. I'll let he know you came by."

"Master Sky,"

Anakin swished the door shut and turned around to go back to his project. only for it to make a loud _*thunk*_ which caused him to look back. Barriss's left foot was jammed in the doorway, blocking it from closing. She squeaked a small, quiet "Ow," before he opened the door again. "Actually Master Skywalker, I wanted to talk to _you, _and maybehave Ahsoka know nothing about this."

Now Anakin was curious. Raising an eyebrow he gestured back with his head, "Uhm, sure. Come on in?"

"T-thank you," Barriss replied quietly as can be, stepping over mechanical bits and pieces of… whatever he was working on this week.

"Sorry about the mess, I wasn't exactly planning on having visitors."

"I don't mind," Barriss lied, nearly having a power converter roll out from under her uninjured foot, causing her to stumble.

Pulling out a chair for her with the Force, Anakin hopped onto the workbench which currently held what looked like the inner workings of an astromech droid… or possibly random garbage, only he could tell. "What's going on?" he asked. He didn't mean to sound rude, on the contrary he actually enjoyed her company, but if she was having some sort of issue then why wasn't she going to _her_ master?

Barriss cleared her throat, "Well, uhm, how do I say this?"

"_Oh Force please tell me it isn't what I think it is," _Anakin thought. Barriss was pretty, only two years younger than him, acting extremely nervous, her emotions he sensed were a jumbled mess, and she wanted Ahsoka to _not _find out about it? How exactly could he tell her he wasn't interested? Mentioning that was already married was definitely out of the question.

"I'm having a… personal problem?"

"Uh huh," Anakin replied. Not good.

"And well, I might have heard a rumor that you're experienced with this sort of thing…"

"What rumor?"

"That you and Senator Amidala had an affair for a while," Barriss answered truthfully. Given how wide his eyes went, it was either actually true or unbelievably false. "And, well," she took another breath. Was breathing always this hard? "There's… someone." She actually did it. She actually confessed that she had developed romantic feelings for another sentient being. Well, close enough to an admission anyway.

"I… see…" Anakin replied. Slowly, methodically.

Barriss was a little scared by that reaction and started to shrink into her seat, "And, well, I wanted to see if you could help me to suppress those, erm, _urges_," oh Force, she sounded like a creep when she said it like _that_, "since you seem to have some knowledge in that regard."

Skywalker rested his face on his mechanical fist, forearm propped up on his knee. "I see. But what I don't get," he responded, "is if you're attracted to a boy and want to avoid that conflict of interest why not just tell _your_ Master about this? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to help you, but I just don't think it's my place." After all, he had to keep an eye on Ahsoka and that Bonteri bastard. If he made a move on her then Anakin would happily rip his balls off and feed them to him.

Barriss looked down in shame; she should have known he would ask _that_.

Anakin smiled, and put a comforting, droid-grease covered hand on hers, "Hey, there's no need to be ashamed or scared about this. You can't help but develop these feelings, it's as natural as eating or sleeping. We're sentient beings, and having emotions and desires is part of that, Jedi Code or no." He knew that more than anyone. She muttered something as softly as possible, which Anakin, somewhat annoyedly, asked "What?"

"It's… it's not a boy."

Anakin nodded, smiling in understanding as all the pieces finally fit together. "Ah, now I get it. You're scared to tell her because your culture frowns on homosexuality."

"Y-yes."

"So you're coming to me, someone outside that culture, for advice on how to be a better Jedi and detach yourself from the woman you're attracted to, without having to fear that judgement."

"Yes."

"Well, as far as the advice you _want_ is concerned, you came to the wrong place."

"WHAT?!"Barriss yelled, jumping to her feet. She had come all this way, fighting every instinct to run back to her room and cry her eyes out, just to be told he wouldn't or couldn't help her?!

"You know why?"

She shook her head in disbelief, "No. No I don't know why," her mind suddenly went to the worst-case scenario, "Please don't tell the Council!"

"I'll never tell them anything."

"Thank you?" Barriss replied, sitting back down. Now, she was confused.

"Have you come out to anybody else?"

"No, no I haven't."

Anakin smirked and replied with a chuckle, "Well I'll take that as a compliment!" Barriss only shrank further into her chair, which he saw as a prompt to tell her, "Hey, what you just did? That's probably the bravest thing I've seen in a long, long time."

Her eyes twinkled as she looked back up at him, "R-really?"

"Without a doubt. And you're right about one thing. I have had experiences with love. In fact, that rumor is a lot truer than it might seem."

Now it was Barriss's turn to widen her eyes in surprise, "What?"

"Padmé and I," he called her by her first name, "well we did have a love affair. We married at the start of the war. Days after Geonosis." He chuckled slightly as the Padawan's jaw dropped, "And you know what? You're the second person I've ever told." The first was another secretly married Jedi who even had a son hidden away on his home planet. "Not even Ahsoka and Obi-Wan know. Now, we both know each other's secrets."

"So, when you said I came to the wrong place for advice,"

"I wasn't refusing to help you. Oh no, instead of the help you _want,_ I'm going to give you the help you _need_."

"Wait, w-what?"

"Barriss, we're getting you a girlfriend."

"_WHAT?!"_ she shouted in a mad panic. There was no way she could do this! She wasn't Skywalker! She wasn't sneaky! She couldn't handle the stress! "B-but,"

"No buts! Now, tell me who she is."

"I-I-I don't think I,"

"Tell me who."

Sighing, Barriss looked down at her hands and answered, "Senator Chuchi… Ahsoka dragged me out to introduce me to a few of her friends, including your wife apparently, and when I met her I just…" she exhaled, "I don't know how to describe it. My stomach got into knots; it took all of my concentration to keep from shaking the whole time; and I haven't been able to get her off my mind since then." There was no kriffing way she was going to mention her rather, naughty, dreams.

"I sense there's a detail you're not telling me," Anakin noted.

Now Barriss was embarrassed, "Well… she might have showed us a PR stunt her staff forced her to do…"

"I'm listening."

"Well, maybe I should show you." They looked up Senator Chuchi's dancing holo, which Anakin proceeded to laugh at.

"She looks like a kriffing stripper!" he guffawed. Anakin elbowed the Mirialan, joking "I guess that helped catch your eye too, huh?"

Barriss blushed deeper than she had ever blushed in her life, "Well, uhm, it… certainly hasn't kept me _from_ thinking about her."

The knight chuckled, "I understand." Standing, he beckoned her to do so too. Once she did, he said, "Alright, I'm going to give you all the help I _wish_ I had had with Padmé."

"Wait!" Barriss protested, "I don't even know if she likes girls!"

"One way to find out. Now," he looked Barriss over, she was making herself as small as possible, shoulders shrunken in, a little hunched over, hands nervously wringing, "Stand up straight."

"What?"

"Like you're about to have a duel. Stand up straight. Feet shoulder width apart."

"How is this,"

"Do it."

Doing as she was told, Anakin nodded, "Now, hands on your hips. Chest out."

"O-okay."

"You know what this is?"

"Not in the slightest."

"I'm helping you to work on your confidence."

"And having me stand like a clown does that how exactly?"

"This is called a 'Power Pose.' It released endorphins into the brain that help boost confidence levels."

She hadn't ever studied this in _any_ of her medical textbooks but she wasn't going to question it. Even if it was a placebo it was better than nothing she supposed. Worst-case scenario she looked like an idiot for a few minutes, best-case scenario this crackpot theory actually works.

"Hold that pose for a few minutes."

"Okay?" Yeah, he was just messing with her.

"Now," Anakin instructed, "Say something you love about yourself."

"What?"

"Do it."

"Fine. Uhm… I… I take care of my friends?"

"Louder. More assertive."

"I take care of my friends," Barriss affirmed, slightly less shakily.

"Again."

"I TAKE CARE OF MY FRIENDS!"

"Good. Now I want you to do that, every day, and say something new every day too."

"I… I'll try."

Anakin narrowed his eyes, "Are you trying to make me quote Master Yoda?"

Sighing, Barriss recited, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."

"Good. Now come back tomorrow. I'll help you more later then."

"Yes, Master Skywalker," Barriss replied with a polite bow, turning to leave the cluttered junkheap Anakin called his quarters. Looking back before she opened the door she added, "And… thank you."

"Anytime."

Barriss went about her day, studying and meditating, but her mind was hardly in it: _"Is this really happening?" _she thought, "_Is Master Skywalker really going to help me get a… a girlfriend?"_ The very word caused a happy chill to run down her back. Would she really risk it? Was it worth it? If anybody ever found out, her life would be over, perhaps even literally. She had heard rumors that the forbidden texts in the Archives contained records of Jedi assassins who would mercilessly hunt those expelled from the Order and anyone connected to them. She didn't know if the Shadows were real, or still active, and she didn't want to find out from being at the stabbing end of their shoto blades.


	3. Chapter 3: Gaining Confidence and Trust

**A/N: Despite the review, I did eventually come back down from the ledge I was prepping to jump off of. The story will be updated sporadically, maybe more often as I work on my mental health.**

Barriss woke up from her heavily disturbed slumber and stood awkwardly in front of a mirror. She normally hated looking at herself but today was different, Anakin had told her to do it, and she was going to obey. Hands on her hips, shoulders back, she said, "I'm a great student." Still in her nightgown, hair a tossed mess, bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, ugly nose, ugly cheek bones, stupid glassy eyes, thin lips, skin like a corpse, scrawny legs, flabby arms, an ugly hunch forming in her back from her constantly making herself small before the masters, everything about her was utterly hideous. She shook her head; this was completely stupid. She'd have to tell Skywalker not to bother with his ridiculous scheme that sounded right out of Ahsoka's mouth. Ugh, he probably did tell her and they were probably laughing at her right now. She turned around and sat back on her mat. This was ridiculous. She couldn't go against the Code, and even if she could she'd never be good enough to get girlfriend, especially not a beautiful, influential, sweet girl like Senator Chuchi. She should call the whole thing off. Grabbing her commlink she held it for a few moments, trying to work up the nerve to tell Anakin she quit. It wasn't right for a woman to be with a woman, or for a Jedi to be with anyone. Tears formed. Thing was, she was too much of a nervous wreck to actually _tell_ Anakin that she didn't want to do this. Well, she _did, _but actually doing it? That was another monster entirely. No, it would be better to focus on becoming a better Jedi, even if Skywalker wasn't one to agree.

Taking a deep breath she stood up to get dressed and walk to Skywalker's dormitory. Walking past her Master who had unusually opted to eat breakfast in their living quarters as opposed to the cafeteria she bid her a good morning.

"Going somewhere?"

"Yes Master, Skywalker wanted to see me."

"Oh, well enjoy yourself. And do stay out of trouble, it seems to follow him everywhere."

"I'll certainly try."

"Good luck."

"Thank you Master."

As she walked down the hallway, she practiced what she would say to him, repeating it again and again in her mind. She couldn't go through with whatever harebrained schemes Skywalker came up with. Finally coming to his and Ahsoka's dorm she hesitantly knocked, waiting to be greeted by Anakin who simply beckoned her "Come in!"

Opening the door she started, just as rehearsed, "Master Skywalker I don't-" she was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Master Secura in there with him.

"Barriss!" Anakin exclaimed happily, "Remember when I said I would be getting help?"

Her eyes widened in horror, "You didn't."

"He did not say much," Secura reassured her, "Only that we can help you with your romantic life."

"I don't have a romantic life!" Barriss protested, perhaps a bit too loudly.

"Not yet," Anakin conceded, "You came to me to change that."

"What, no! You took that on yourself! I wanted to learn how to suppress my feelings!"

"You already know how to do that," Anakin countered, narrowing his eyes, "If you _really_ wanted help, you would have gone to Yoda."

Barriss shrank down in herself, she knew that was true. She just knew that it was wrong, a Jedi shouldn't fall in love, and she shouldn't want to be with a woman at all. She felt a heavy hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Skywalker looking compassionately at her. "I'm sorry," was all she could say.

"I get it. You're scared and conflicted. So was I and so was Aayla."

"You told her?"

"He didn't give me a name, but I wasn't at all surprised with you being attracted to a girl. You were so far in the closet I thought you were halfway to Narnia!" Barriss blushed again, prompting Secura to laugh, "Pretty much everyone aside from your Master and Tano already knows it just from looking at you. You're kind of a walking stereotype for a closeted lesbian."

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are," Aayla insisted. "So, how did you two meet?"

"Ahsoka introduced us."

"She cute?"

Barriss paused for a moment before admitting, "Very."

"She older or younger?"

"Little bit younger."

"Another Padawan?"

Now Barriss had to look down in embarrassment, piecing together what Aayla was doing. "Senator Chuchi."

Now it was Secura's turn to look bewildered, looking to Skywalker for confirmation. He simply replied, "Yep."

She smiled, "Well, that makes it all the more interesting, doesn't it?"

Barriss shrank down a bit.

"Tell me everything."

So she did as she was told; Barriss told Masters Secura and Skywalker absolutely everything, pouring her heart and soul out to them about struggling with the conflict of being a lesbian, a Mirialan, and a Jedi all at once, her only escape being when she was completely absorbed into her Jedi duties, electing not to share about her poetry journal or her pathetic attempts at painting in secret. After a few minutes of prodding, she even lifted her sleeves to show them the light-colored scars from when she used to cut herself for feeling like a degenerate abomination, a complete failure at protecting people on the battlefield, and feeling like a completely incompetent Jedi. She had been a year clean so far, as difficult as the traumas of the battlefield made it.

As Barriss broke down into tears, Aayla had half a mind to go right up to Luminara and start screaming at her for not providing any level of support to her student, not being a source of comfort for her, not being one to let her open up to her. Shaking her head, she took Barriss by the hands and cooed, "It's ok. It's ok, and you are _not_ an abomination, a failure, or incompetent. Hell, if _Anakin Skywalker_ is cut out for being a Jedi, you are ten times better."

Anakin nodded along until he realized what Secura was implying, "Hey!" Was she wrong, no, but he would be damned if he'd let an insult slide by uncontested.

The girls ignored him and Secura offered, "Now come on, we're going to practice your flirting."


	4. Chapter 4: Meet the Parents

**A/N: You know how I said it probably wouldn't be in chronological order? Yeah, this is one of those times. Skipping ahead to just after the end of **_**Ahsoka's Twin**_** to Barriss meeting the in-laws. Oh boy… this will be a fun one. Next one will be the first date, possibly with them reminiscing.**

Barriss was more than a little nervous and squeezed her wife's hand as they parked their speeder in front of the spacious countryside house. Meeting your significant other's parents was always nerve-wracking, especially when you don't meet until after you already married their daughter. "Think they'll be mad we didn't invite them to the wedding?"

Riyo looked down, "No… no, I don't think that's what they'll be annoyed about." She had neglected to mention that her father was vehemently against inter-species couples and was silently praying to any god or goddess that would listen that he would keep his damned mouth shut. "Petro? Can you help your mom grab the food?"

"Sure thing Mama R," It felt a little weird at first calling somebody just a few years older than him "mom," or some variant of it, but he got used to it relatively quickly. His was an extremely odd family but it was just that, a family. Although he may have technically been adopted just for the legal custody with their order not being recognized by Teth at the time, the three had quickly grown inseparable and Riyo and Barriss practically saw themselves more as parents than "his master and her wife," and they wouldn't have it any other way.

Riyo straightened her dress, grabbed some of the gift bags, and went up to the door. Taking a deep breath, she knocked, hearing her mother call out "Coming!" A few moments later, Barriss and Petro making it to the bottom of the porch stairs when Riyo's mother opened the door. _"Riyo! __Hoe is jy? Het jy 'n veilige vlug?"_

_"Ja ma, dit was 'n groot! "_

_"O dit was so lank vandat jy laaste huis toe gekom het! O, is dit dat 'Barriss' vrou?"_

"_Ja_," Riyo replied, electing to ignore her wife being referred to as "that Barriss woman," for now, and turned to Barriss, "Babe, this is my mom."

"An honor to meet you Mrs. Chuchi," Barriss greeted with a smile, arms full of an assortment of dishes. Electing to let the Force do the work for her, she made the crockery levitate as she curtsied politely, "And this," she motioned towards her Padawan/son, "Is your grandson!"

"Petro. Nice to meet you ma'am. Or… should I call you grandma?"

"Mrs. Chuchi is fine," all three cringed slightly before Mrs. Chuchi turned to let them in.

A few other younger people who Barriss assumed her were her siblings-in-law or maybe cousins helped take the food from them and put it in the kitchen, one of them introduced himself, "Hey, name's Kosh. Your brother-in-law. Don't mind mom, she's just a little annoyed that she didn't know about you until you were almost married."

"I could tell," Barriss muttered uneasily.

"Come on, let's get you introduced to the rest of the family."

Meanwhile Riyo was trying to talk with her mother in the Pantoran language, "Could you please make an effort to be nice?"

"I'm nice!"

"You literally called my wife 'that Barriss woman' to her face."

"Well, is she?"

"No, mom, I brought a random woman to my parents' house and introduced her as _my_ _wife_, and that's besides the fact that you're acting so coldly to your grandson!"

"He's barely younger than you are!"

"We adopted an older child! What is so wrong with that?!"

Taking a breath to calm herself, Mrs. Chuchi replied, "Look, I know I'm seeming a little harsh but I'm just hurt that you didn't tell us sooner."

"We had to keep it a secret, and you know why." Riyo went up to her mother and hugged her, "I'm sorry I didn't feel like I could trust you Mom, and I'm _not_ looking forward to trying to have this talk with Dad, but I want to feel like my family can be respected in the house I grew up in. Is that too much to ask?"

"I can't promise anything from your father, but I really am happy for you, but I'm still hurt that you didn't trust me."

"I understand. Just, pretend you like my wife and son. Please."

"I'll decide if I like them after I get to know them. I'm your mom, it's my job to hate your spouse."

Riyo rolled her eyes, "Whatever, where's Dad?"

"Workshop."

Her father however was being informed of his daughter's arrival by the youngest son Rosh, "Riyo's here Dad."

"I want nothing to do with that race-mixer."

"Dad, she's gay. It's not like they can have mixed kids."

"But what kind of example does it set for your kids when you and Vro have them?! They'll grow up looking at their aunt and think something _that_ unnatural is okay!"

"Dad. Later. It's the moon goddess's anniversary."

"Yes, when we celebrate the _Pantoran_ moon goddess marrying the _Pantoran_ war god! Not some green-skinned hooker from Coruscant!"

"She's a Jedi!"

"Like there's a difference?! At least a hooker admits she's whoring herself out to half the galaxy!"

"Dad!" Rosh just sighed and stormed up the stairs, looking down and yelling, "At least she didn't marry that drug addict you tried to set her up with!" before slamming the door.

Barriss tightened her lips and looked at the man she had yet to be introduced to. Kosh smacked his lips and said "Yep. Sounds about right."

"My father-in-law sounds lovely."

"Honestly, the only reason any of us come here for Wekamanak is to see mom and each other."

"Maybe you could come to our place next year then?"

"I doubt the rest of the family would have a problem with that. Nobody likes the bastard down there. Gods forbid I bring home the human girl I've met at work; crochety old racist would probably have an aneurism."

Riyo walked towards the steps when Rosh and Kosh simultaneously warned, "Don't."

"He still upset I dumped the spice-head?"

"Yep," Kosh answered.

"That's not even touching on who you just brought home. No offense Barriss, you seem like a cool girl."

"Thanks," Barriss beamed.

Turning to Rosh, Riyo asked, "So how are things with you and Vro? Are you still together?"

"Yeah, but she couldn't get off work to come."

Riyo chuckled, "Sounds about right."

"Yep, 'accountants never sleep,' she says, refusing to admit she loves getting holiday pay."

"At her usual rate, I don't blame her. _I _can't even afford her," taking Barriss by the hand she stood her up and led her to the living room where the gifts were going to be exchanged in a few minutes when everyone else came. Sitting together in an oversized chair with Barriss half-beside Riyo and half-in her lap they cuddled while the K-9 droid was chasing its ball.

"So Kor, is your girlfriend coming?"

"Yeah, she is going to be here tomorrow. Spending the first day with her grandma."

"Aww," Barriss cooed, "that's sweet." She looked at her new extended family, Riyo had always half-joked that she was the baby of her siblings but she didn't realize there was such an age gap.

Finally their father had climbed up from his lair and the room went quiet. He looked at his daughter and the woman nuzzling into her shoulder and just shook his head in disgust, simply stating in Pantoran, "I don't approve of that thing you married."

Replying, again in Pantoran, "That 'thing' is my wife and she has a name. If you want me to talk to you again, you'll use it."

At this point Barriss was really starting to wish she had picked Pantoran as an elective language instead of Togruti.

Mr. Chuchi responded again in Pantoran, "Just because you had a case of desert fever doesn't mean you had to act on it!"

Now, Riyo snapped. Giving Barriss a quick peck on the lips she asked her to get off her lap for a moment before turning to her father and shouting in Basic for her wife and son to understand, "DESERT FEVER?! MY WIFE IS MORE THAN JUST A DAMNED FETISH TOY!"

Mr. Chuchi went to respond in Pantoran, but his daughter cut him off, "If you have something to say, say it in Basic!"

"It just isn't right! Their kind doesn't deserve to mix with ours!"

"Kriff you! You don't deserve to see your children! The only reason we show up every year is for mom! NOT YOU!"

Barriss stood and tried to calm Riyo down, "B-Baby? Let's just go,"

"SIT DOWN!" Riyo ordered, which Barriss followed immediately with but a terrified squeak. It was a rare occurrence that Riyo got truly angry, but when she did, demons ran in terror. She knew for a fact that she wouldn't raise a finger against her, they had very nearly gotten physical in a fight _once_ and Barriss immediately put an end to _that, _but she couldn't guarantee to control her if she got this angry at somebody else. She got a feeling that said rage was probably genetic though and prepared to sit frozen in fear for at least a few hours.

Her theory was confirmed a few minutes later as the pair immediately went into a bilingual screaming match and the rest of the family quietly evacuated from the building, which Barriss and Petro followed suit just as Riyo grabbed a vase. They didn't see her throw it but heard the porcelain shatter over their shouts as they made their way to the patio deck.

Mrs. Chuchi on the other hand was far more reasonable, despite the abrasive introduction. "Sorry about all of this, and about earlier. I was hurt and took it out on you. You and your boy don't deserve that, and you seem to make my daughter happy." Sighing, she shook her head and said, "Frankly I didn't think she'd ever get married with that temper."

"She rarely gets mad, at least not around me."

"Good. She's a slow burner, unlike her father, but when they do go at it," a window shattered behind them, with a torrent of curses being unleashed, "That."

"I talked Riyo into seeing a counsellor about her temper. Maybe you can get your husband to do the same?"

"HEARTLESS ALCOHOLIC BASTARD!"

"RACE-MIXING HARLOT!"

"YOU WEVER NEVER THERE FOR ME! FOR ANY OF YOUR KIDS!"

"YOU AREN'T MY DAUGHTER! NO CHILD OF MINE WOULD END UP MARRYING A GREEN SHIT-STAIN LIKE THAT FILTHY MONSTROSITY OUT THERE!"

More crashing and screaming came from inside following the verbal abuse.

"I've tried. He refuses to do anything about it. I'm half ready to file for a divorce."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It isn't your fault."

"Maybe it would be better if next year you came to our apartment?"

"Why? So they'd wreck half of Coruscant? Or do you live on Teth now?"

"We have a home on both planets. And I meant without him."

"I think that would be lovely."

Barriss smiled.

"So, were you and Riyo thinking of having any other kids? Maybe some of your own?"

Barriss's smile dropped, "Erm, well… I had to have a hysterectomy so if we do go the sperm donor route it'd have to be Riyo who gets pregnant."

"Hysterectomy? You poor baby! What happened?"

"Stage II cancer. Still seeing doctors monthly to make sure it doesn't come back."

Barriss's mother-in-law immediately pulled her into a hug, "I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine! I survived relatively unscathed, more than I can say happened in the War."

Riyo calmly walked out the door towards her wife and mother embracing, on the commlink. "Yes, is there any way I can reschedule my appointment with Dr. Jones for an earlier date? Yep… Yeah, holidays made me snap… Taungsday at 1430 sounds great! Thank you Sandra."


	5. Chapter 5: Asking Her Out

**A/N: Sorry about the delay. Between coronavirus, my druggie aunt driving my grandfather to his grave, a funeral (not for said grandfather… yet), work, school, a new girlfriend, and everything else, updates will come when they come. Speaking of which, enjoy Barriss's attempt to ask Riyo on a date.**

"Ok Barriss, you can do this," Barriss reassured herself, "Just remember what Skywalker and Secura taught you… well, what Secura taught you." Despite Anakin's best attempts, his advice was mostly useless. Who would use "I don't like sand" as a pickup line? More importantly how did it work? Maybe as stupid as it sounded it actually was sound. Walking through the Senate halls she would eventually find Senator Chuchi, it was just a matter of remembering where her office was in this gargantuan, terrifying, imposing building filled with imposing, terrifying people. She shook her head, "Stop it! Don't let your nerves win!" She had been doing Skywalker's confidence exercises every day, Secura had taught her how to use makeup, she had practiced and re-practiced her opening lines again and again. There. She had finally found it again, Chuchi's office. Her hands were shaking as she nervously tried to sense if anybody was in there. It seemed to be only the Senator. Taking a deep breath she nocked on the door. Standing for a few moments she hesitated to knock again, but the silence was deafening. Maybe she didn't hear her? She straightened her dress, tucked the loose locks of hair under her headscarf, muttered under her breath, "I am brave, I am beautiful, I am smart, and I deserve love. I am brave, I am beautiful, I am smart, and I deserve love. I am brave, I am beautiful, I am smart, and I deserve love," and knocked again.

Chuchi looked like a complete mess. Shaking from exhaustion she tried, and failed, to straighten the notes she had prepared for the debate tomorrow morning. Bleary-eyed she took a quick look at a mirrored shelf in her office and almost screamed for help before she recognized that this was her reflection and not some random drug addict who broke in. Her hair was a complete mess, she hadn't changed her clothes in three days and had gone almost as long without sleeping, being powered solely by questionably safe amounts of caffeine at this point. She had barely even moved from her desk in almost 36 hours except twice to use the fresher. Cha had since fled/been relieved of duty for the day as she prepared everything for this new military spending bill. She had everything she could have possibly hoped to get, Republic budgets, debt accounts, Senator Dodd's personal self-interests in keeping the war going for as long as possible, the average price and training time per clone as compared with a battle droid. She just had to pray that Chancellor Palpatine would actually let the debates play out this time. Despite sharing a planet and Party with Padmé they couldn't be more different on the matter of who was the war-hawk.

"Kriff I need a nap and a shower. I can hear banging in head." Then it dawned on her that somebody was knocking on her door. Probably Cha, he left his backpack when he practically ran out the door as she was going on another insane rant to herself, punctuated with ever-so-slightly unhinged laughter going on her 50th hour without sleep. Getting up and half-hobbling, half-stumbling over to the door she opened it to reveal Ahsoka's cute Mirialan friend, dolled up and wearing a much… tighter, dress than before, which really accentuated her curves. Suddenly remembering her current state and feeling both embarrassed and horrified when she saw the look of surprise on Barriss's face, Riyo immediately closed the door and tried to flatten out the disaster area that was her hair and at least attempt to make her filthy clothes semi-presentable. "Kriff, shit, kriff, shit, kriff, shit, kriff, shit, kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff, shit, kriff! Why did this have to happen now?!"

Despite the soul crushing and heart stomping that accompanied that door shutting in her face, Barriss's spirits were soon lifted at the string of curses she heard on the other side preceding a loud rustling. The door was soon opened and her Pantoran crush greeted her with a smile. "Forgive the mess! I wasn't expecting guests and I've been in a mad rush the past few days."

"Are you ok?"

"Hmm? Oh! Yeah, I just haven't slept in the past few days is all. A ton of research I've had to do."

"Oh, you poor baby! Haven't you had anybody to help?"

"I did. Sent him home yesterday," Riyo yawned. She was really cute when she yawned. "I think I've" yawning again but not stopping her sentence, "got everything ready now."

Barriss took a look around the room and noticed the surprisingly large number of caf cups hurriedly slung into the trash. "Are you sure you're ok?"

The Senator barely looked at the padawan and nodded a few times in her general direction.

"Do you need somebody to take you home?"

"No, no. I can fly."

"NO YOU CAN'T," Barriss corrected her, "not without killing yourself or other people! I'll fly your speeder and take you home."

Grabbing her notes, Riyo affirmed "Ok, you're probably right."

Half-stumbling, half-being carried, Riyo led her to her speeder on the parking levels. Once the pair were properly strapped in, Barriss started up the engine and flew towards 500 Republica. Clearing her throat, she glanced over to talk to Riyo only to see she was already solidly passed out and snoring. Smiling she looked back at the lanes for a few minutes. Riyo turned a bit in the seat and flopped towards the driver's side, leaning against Barriss's shoulder. The Mirialan's heart leapt in her chest but kept quiet until the reached their destination. Shaking the Senator awake, "Senator Chuchi? Riyo? Come on, there's a retinal scanner."

"Mmmm, fifteen minutes, please."

"I imagine a bed feels better than a speeder's seat."

"Ugh."

"I'll carry you again."

Scanning for entry, the pair took the lift to Chuchi's Coruscant apartment. It seemed like something out of a magazine to Barriss, with a droid cleaning the floor greeting the pair as she carried its owner to her bedroom. Muttering, barely awake, Riyo opened her eyes just enough to see Barriss laying her onto her bed and quietly asked, "Are you an angel?"

Barriss froze for a moment, remembering what Anakin had told her about how he met his wife as a child. She smiled and attempted to be coy, "Well I kept you from flying home. I guess I am your guardian angel."

"Do you like girls?"

Now Barriss was really surprised, especially considering that is exactly what she had wanted to ask Riyo a few minutes ago.

"Y-yes?"

"Me too. They're so pretty."

"A lot of women are."

"Like you."

Barriss couldn't help the brilliant blush rushing to her cheeks "O-Oh! Uhm… well, I wanted to ask you something before you went to sleep?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to go to dinner with me? Just the two of us…" then she remembered the blitzkrieg of teasing and/or life-ending repercussions she might experience if she didn't add this detail, "Ahsoka doesn't have to know."

"I'd love to. Just talk with Martha," the M4R-TH4 maid droid outside in the living area, "to schedule a time and place. I'll be there."

Before Barriss could even say anything else the pretty blue girl was already fast asleep again. Smiling, she resisted the temptation to kiss the Senator's forehead and went to go schedule a date with the droid. Her first date. She could hardly believe it.


End file.
